i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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