we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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