just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize