Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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