You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize