Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
