i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
