The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
