either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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