That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
