what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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