dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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