you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
