it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
