Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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