As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
