ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
