Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
