you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
