woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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