My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
nut hugger
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
