Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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