a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
