i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I die, sorry about rent.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
