if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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