Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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