we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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