Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
