no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
3 2 1 whiskey
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
