Sry I called you an 8
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize