i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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