I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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