tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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