Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
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I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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