never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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