i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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