We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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