kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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