Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk