I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
