I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
