on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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