he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
