good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
