You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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