My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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