Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is Oprah even human
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize