All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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