Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
