member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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