That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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