Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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