You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
