Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
