i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
