yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize
