By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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