if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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