whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
