wakey wakey hands off snakey
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
