This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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