so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
